Soulmates

A soulmate is someone who is supposedly the one for you and all you have to do is find him. Do soulmates really exist? Is there only one or are there plenty so if one fails, you just move on to another? As you move from age box to age box, natural filtration just shrinks the target market.

I thought Ian was my soulmate, so when our relationship did not work out, I thought it was over for me. My soulmate had just slipped away. But I have always noticed that whenever I was in love with someone, the relationship ends. It is almost like the whole idea of a soulmate was to set me up to fail; a torture device. Out of four million people living in Singapore, sometimes you feel lonely. Should one then settle to be with someone who loves you more than you love them? Maybe if I do, I won't be alone. Fall in love and he will disappear.

Just when I was on the brink of giving up on finding true love, my past haunted me. Suddenly someone inspiring shows up at your path again. There he was, charming, attentive, intelligent and humorous, ZEN. Zen makes my heart flutter and the conversations we have are always so memorable and delightful. Although I have forgiven Ian, I did not forget the experience. With Zen, the feelings just came back to me. Sometimes I am afraid to love again as I fear that it would all end shortly after that. I took five years to forget about Ian in my life, I do not think I am up to another five years if this one failed.

Now all I can do is think about Zen, Zen! He is so attentive, it is almost like he reads me like a book. His devoted attention is way too attractive. There is nothing wrong with him at all, there was no reason for me to forget and stay unaffected. Now I just day dream about him and all i want to do is be around him more often. Now at this point, I know I am going to lose my focus of things again. But hey, like they always say, live the present and as the present is a gift. Well, I look forward to seeing Zen again... this time I hope it will last longer.