In matters of Love, when do you know it is right?

I often look for the fireworks as a sign that this is the guy for me. However, the guys who gave me the fireworks never gave me any security in the relationship and they never lasted. Guys who were less exciting were head over heels over me and when I knew that they have chosen me to be 'The One', I avoided them. In a relationship is there a trade off between excitement and comfort? Should we just skip the fireworks and feel comfortable in a 'right' relationship? If you felt the fireworks, is that a sign of trouble and you should only go in one direction; out?

I once met Dell, a man you would hardly consider to have fantastic looks and who gave me no fireworks when I first met him. But his persistence and intellect, not to mention witty humor, made me want to know him better. As time went by, I got to accept him for who he was but I never experienced any fireworks. I felt security just because I had more control in that relationship. Now that relationship did not work out for me because he knew I was looking for something else.

Later, I met Zen. Charming, sensitive, intellectual and witty. I felt the positive energy whenever I was around him. But can this be right or have I learnt from my past that this is not a good sign. I asked Valerie, my girlfriend, who advised me to just enjoy the ride and be prepared to be disappointed. She said that women's needs in love do evolve with age. What she sought in a man when she was in her twenties is different from the present. Men, too experience the same in a relationship. Maybe, like their women counterpart, they too were searching for those fireworks and that is why relationships built on that never lasted. In this respect, maybe women and men are not that different as John Gray said. In addition, if men matured slower, so generally older men would suit women better?

At this point, it occured to me that maybe the reason why I have not found the 'right' one is because I have not reached the point in my life when I could marry my expectations and reality. In reality, maybe there is no firework in relationships, which Valerie soon realised? Maybe all those fireworks were a notion which only existed along the hallmark aisle or a shakespeare play?

If you were in a relationship, would you be expecting fireworks still? Is that uncalled for? Everyone has expectations about how they would want to run their love life and how they want play their roles. Maybe successful couples are ones who realised that the fireworks were not as important as keeping the love alive and the relationship together.

So my time may come when I finally meet the man who expected no fireworks in our relationship and I was not expecting the same. Maybe that is when I will know it is right for me because then, we are in a relationship because we just wanted to be together and make each other a better person with the coming of two lonely souls.