My First Love

My first love was Ian Berman. He is an american jewish guy who lives in Los Angeles. Smart, good looking, romantic and an absolute gentleman. We loved each other the moment we met. He thought I was funny, I thought he was ridiculous.

Conversations with him were always intelligent and funny. We never stopped talking to each other. We travelled together and all the trips were always so memorable. He would make me laugh and smile. I was definitely the luckiest and happiest girl whenever I was with him. I still keep a picture of us which we took in LA. It is the picture taken by a director in Hollywood who happened to spot us. Beautiful picture.

We were complete opposites in character, but we complemented each other. Where I was weak, he strengthened me. When he was weak, I saved his ass and did it for him..LOL. Our friends always thought we were a beautiful pair because we communicated so well and since he knew me, he actually opened up more and became more sociable. He was very happy and he told me that his friends envied him because he was spending so much time with me and not with them. Ian was a very devoted boyfriend. Unlike Diana, an ex-girlfriend of Paul's, whose boyfriend Dean was into threesomes. I oftened asked what was she going to give if they got married? a four way?

The reason why I fell in love with Ian was not because he was good looking but because he was inspiring. He simply made me a better person. I was risk averse, he encouraged me to take on more risks. We went about learning new things together and he never took his eyes off me whereever we went. He would hold my hand as if he were guiding me along the way. He encouraged me to learn more about finance, investments and also risk taking. Those were his strengths, definitely not mine as I confided in him.

Due to the distance, we finally broke up. But Ian did it because it was for my own good. I was traumatised at that point and I never fell in love for five years. Till the feeling came back to me when I met Zen. Don't ask me why and how? But it is just a feeling I get. Is that a good sign? Can you figure your path based on relationships in the past? Go figure.

When Ian left, I was extremely desolate. I cried before bed and whenever I learnt the sad songs, they reminded me of him. Fortunately, I didn't let pain get the most of me. I struggled at work. I picked up new skills in finance, investments and taxation. Obtained my Masters. As a result, I am more confident, decisive and I have strengthened myself in areas where I was weak.. MATH! I learnt from the best in the US and my path has definitely changed since I met Ian. Being borned in a risk averse family environment, I believe what Ian did to me is remarkable. My family members have also benefitted from it as I noticed the change in attitude towards investments. Even now, they will ask me for advice. In the past, I knew nothing about financial or investment analysis. Now I am being consulted!

Ian also taught me to be more forward looking and somehow that ability is now imbued in me. I am glad that God pulled me through that difficult point in my life and allowed me to make the best of the future. The reason why I managed to do it was because I made a decision to be better off after the break up. I could continue to remain desolate or I could use that experience as a stepping stone. And yes, I will no longer look back... because it is no longer within my control. What is relevant to me is my future and Love is definitely on the Cards.