Passion of Christ

The day has finally come. I have been looking forward to this day, partly because Zen is going to accompany me, and partly because this is a film that is truly meaningful to me. I have been reading a review on the film, and I know that will deepen my understanding of the film.

I have always been very spiritual. I do not think all that occurred in my life took place by coincidence but is part of a bigger plan. Somehow, I know God is with me and is constantly watching over me. Everything that occurs to me has a purpose. The problem is can I always identify God's plan and will in all that happens to me. I realised that sometimes I do inadvertently take things for granted. However, I have been trying to reflect on God's will more often with increasing awareness. This feeling gets stronger everyday and finally things are changing now.

I will let God navigate and rule my life. God is like my idea of a perfect husband who looks after my interests and guides me. A protector and a love of my life. I know He sees the bigger picture and I should ideally let Him in. The barriers are breaking down everyday. All this introspection did not occur to me until I met Zen due to my increasing awareness to think about what is going on in my Life and what I should do about it (in relationships, work, etc). Since then, I resolved to achieve more in the next ten years. Getting in touch with Christ has never been more important. Knowing His plan would simultaneously mean knowing my plan.

As Life goes on, I am finding it increasingly tough to go through it on my own and having to be left to my own devices. Then I recalled that I don't need to bear the cross myself, Christ carries the other half of the load. In the film, Christ gathers strength to go through with God's plan every time He sees his Mother, Mary. I recalled that I have always gathered my strength just by looking at the picture of the 'Sacred Heart of Jesus' on my bedroom wall. I won this through a lucky draw along with the picture of the 'Immaculate heart of Mary'. It is made of opals. I love these pictures and somehow God wants me to have it?

As I was reading the papers, I read that many teenage females were commiting suicide due to love, family and work problems. I do think that many females face increasing pressure in this stressful world. But like Christ, I don't turn back whenever I look at Him (His picture) and also hold on to my crucifix.

My grandpa, before he died, handed over a jewelled crucifix to my mother. My mum is not a christian, but I always believed grandpa gave it to me because he knew my mum will eventually hand it over to me. It is an emerald crucifix embedded in Gold.

Grandpa, I know you are out there and thank you for this wonderful and most significant Gift.