Key to Happiness

I took a day off today from work just to relax. I decided to spend the day doing things I love. It felt really good and refreshing. I spent the morning sleeping as I was trying my best to recover from my cough. Then I played with my cat, went out with my parents who just returned from down under and also read a book I have been wanting to read. I also spent some time doing my own investment analysis.

We spend most of our day time at work. How can we enrich our lives and make it more meaningful? One of the things I would love to do is to return to someone I love and just receive that tight hug and kiss. I am still working on it..:)

I love 'talking' to my cat and touching its fur. It does help me relieve some pressure off my body. I sometimes gaze at my reef tank and watch the corals sway, the fishes play. The blue water calms me.

I love to read and learn new things. I not only read but I do spend my time mastering the different skills I have been trying to explore. It feels good when you succeed. However, the process can be tough and sometimes frustrating for me.

I love to attend parties and social gatherings. When I do so, I love to dress up and simply have fun. I love to dress in black dresses with some silver and sparkling jewel accessories. They contrast well and the sparkling jewels always make me sparkle in dimly lit areas, especially in restaurants and parties.

I love to sing because it helps me relax and express myself through songs. I think it is a wonderful talent that I should always build on. I love it because it is one of the best ways to communicate with children. Music does bring people together and that is what I always seek to do. Bring peace and love to all I interact with.

In life, moderation is the key to happiness. Now I am trying my best to do things I love so that my soul does not grow tired. It is also important that you manage your internal feelings so that others around you do not suffer. In other words, you have to watch out for those internal conflicts you may have. Part of you wants to grumble and complain about your unhappiness and the other part of you wants to feel happy. However, we find ourselves troubleshooting for most parts of our lives unless we actively do things for ourselves in accordance to our wants.

Here is an analogy. In business, we do deal with our external customers as well as internal customers who are also known as our support staff. If the internal customers in a company do not cooperate well or work efficiently, one will not be able to deliver great service to external customers. Hence, if you do not manage your emotional conflicts within yourself, how can you enrich the lives of others? I always believe that no man is an island. Therefore, if you really want to be happy, you should really try enriching the lives of others and you shall benefit from their happiness. This is particularly important for couples.

I wrote a little definition of true love, from my perspective, in my homepage. When I read it again, I could not agree more. The question is how do we enrich the lives of others and remain happy within ourselves? Suddenly I recalled something Zen once told me. "If you can accept what I can offer, I will be priviledged to be your friend."

It occurred to me that maybe that is where the answer lies. When couples disagree and quarrel, it is often the result of conflicting expectations. The wife may have expected the husband to do something and she probably has been waiting for a long while, but the poor husband was probably not in the position to deliver. This problem can be one that is financial, emotional or even physical in nature. When there are conflicts, couples face two options. They weather through understanding and compromise or they can quit which is often the easier option.

I do believe in a relationship, two parties must learn to compromise and be understanding of each others needs. But these needs should always be well communicated. If one cannot fulfill it, it is then important that the other accept what can be offered and try to be more understanding. As long as the problems are not large or are deal breakers, they will still iron out their differences. By reconciling their differences and also manage their internal conficts, they achieve happiness. This way they do not affect their children.

In conclusion, I believe, the key to happiness lies in the ability to manage one's internal conflicts and acceptance of limitations or constraints. This applies to work and relationships; anything you do and everyone you relate with.

Now I am going to head to bed and dream. That tops the list of my favourite things.