To love or to be loved

I wonder which is better, to be with someone you love or to be loved by someone. You may ask, why does it have to be one or the other; why can't one have both?
There are many guys who are interested in having a relationship with me but there are few I am truly interested in. Shall I continue to work on men I like and wait for them to respond positively or should I just focus my attention on men who do love me more than I love them?

I was reading a book on male psychology. It seems that men like to pursue and women should be pursued. If women pursued, men lose their interests in them! As I was reading, I was surprised to note that maybe I had gotten it all wrong. Maybe no two individuals can love each other to the same degree. That was not my idea of mutual love.

When I looked back, I realised that whenever I expressed my interest in a man, he would start performing his disappearing act. I always thought it would only be appropriate for me to express how I felt so that both parties can enjoy each other's company. He need not struggle to read my mind or feel uncertain. I guess I thought wrong. Should women then play hard to get?

As if the world is already not packed with difficulties, are men genuinely looking for a tough time with women? It doesn't make much sense to us women, but that apparently is the male psychology. I have been offered many opportunities to start a relationship with men who are crazy about me, but like I told Zen, I didn't feel any chemistry. They were all smart individuals so it could not have been the lack of mental chemistry. They were all physically attractive, so definitely not lack of physical chemistry too. They have humor and are great men with good principles, absolutely not problem with emotional chemistry. What was missing then ought to be spiritual chemistry. Somehow my soul felt that they were not my soulmates. What did I do? I dropped them and moved on.

Should you trust your feelings at all or should you use your common sense and go for the man who loves you more. A man who loves you more than you love him pursues you and women who like to be pursued can enjoy the process. I love being pursued so did I make a mistake when I rejected their advances? A man who loves you sees you as the capital on which he earns his interests and he thrives on it. A man you love is like an overdraft and you will have to constantly draw down the balance to maintain the relationship.

Perhaps I should try changing my focus on men who do pay attention to my needs. Men you love and who know you are interested in them, tend to sit back and relax too much. They probably have forgetten that, for a good relationship to work, they have to be consistent and not rest on their laurels once they have secured the woman in their lives. Women who are involved with men who love them won't be uncertain about whether they like her enough or whether they have someone else in their lives. Such women are more self-assured which makes her even more attractive to him.

Mabe this is the strategy to lifelong relationships; Marry someone who loves you more than you love them. Don't you agree? Well, maybe I will ask Zen about it when I get a chance to see him again, that is, if he has not already performed his Houdini act.