Fatal attraction

Most of us go through a process of trial and error before we find our soulmate. Until we recognise our soulmate, we are constantly attracted to people who are totally "wrong" for us. Why is this the case?

I heard that the most read "book" by men is playboy magazine. Now doesn't that tell you alot about men? Yep, they think with the wrong head! It is all about body, boobs and long legs. This is probably because such women appear to be more sexually receptive and responsive. Women on the other hand are into mental connection. I personally look for interesting men. Someone who has a good head over his shoulders and able to hold intellectual conversations. Someone I can learn from. Physical attraction is the last on my list. What is the point of staring at him for the entire night and have nothing to talk about? How can he even leave me with anything memorable (to write about)? Men, therefore, are likely to miss their soulmate for someone physically well-endowed when they begin dating. However, more often than not, they will usually end up with their soulmate who is very different from their girlfriends whom they were only physically attracted to. I guess that is good news for the women; there is still light at the end of the tunnel and it isn't an oncoming train..LOL.

When Zen commented that women do mature faster than men, I could not agree with him more. Both men and women therefore have different timelines. Physical attraction is top on the list for men and bottom of the list for women. No wonder we always find ourselves with the wrong type. When a man recognises his soulmate, her physical beauty is just a bonus. As men progress in a relationship, they look for intellectual women who have something to talk about other than bags, shoes, fashion and the best hotspots in town. I find this common trait amongst men in their 40s. For this reason, if you believe in probability, I think women should avoid men in their 20s or 30s because of their raging hormones. At this stage, both men and women will be looking for the same thing,that is, the mental connection.

This shows the importance of mental connection during the dating stage. Once that is established, they seek to understand each other's personality. Both parties will be embarking along the same timeline now. If they can connect mentally, physical beauty is secondary. My initial problem was being attracted to physical attributes. Later I grew out of the problem and focused more on mental capabilities. I felt happier; a man with brains would definitely make me feel more secure around him. That is one of my emotional needs. If my boyfriend or husband were good looking, it would certainly be a bonus.

Once both parties are on the same timeline, it is also essential for them to recognise that their soulmate is not perfect. Instead of changing the other, try changing your mindset. I tried to correct myself by focusing on his strengths instead of his weaknesses, as long as his incompatibility was not against my principles , i.e. it is not something I could not live with. Couples will then seek emotional attachment as they progress through the timeline. That is when the kisses and touch become important. It satifies both their needs. I found this song by DIDO in the album "Life is Rent". It is a hidden track after "see the sun" which is the last track on the album. It describes the beauty of emotional attachment and you can tell how important it is to both sexes in a relationship.

Here are the lyrics. Title: Closer

The closer you get, the better I feel
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says, that I look happier
When you're around, the better I feel

The closer you get, the better you see
The closer you are, the more I see
Why everyone says, that I look happier
When you're around, the closer you get
The better I feel, the better I feel

We've been circling for time baby
We're coming down to land tonight
The wait is over and now it's easy
Everything is fine


From my past encounters, I finally figured out how to avoid falling in love with Mr Wrong and going for Mr Right. Obviously, he has to be someone seeking a mental connection with me and looking for emotional attachment. Only then can we see the sun again and journey through Love at the same pace.