Receptivity

As I read the papers on desolate teenage females who suffer from depression as a result of giving themselves too fast too soon, I wondered what made them decide to make that mistake repeatedly. Do women attract dangerous men as they search for Mr Right?

I did not think that was the case. I believe that these women felt obligated while they were in a relationship. They felt they should return their male partners a BIG favor in order to stay in the relationship. I sincerely do not believe in that. I believe that it is their role to please us and it is our role to show that we appreciate their efforts when we do. But that does not mean you need to lose your principles and beliefs just to keep the relationship going. Women must understand their needs and worth before getting themselves involved in a relationship. That way, they can show their partner what they like and who consequently will know how to please them. I do think that a man generally gains happiness when his partner enjoys his presence and efforts to make her happy. All she has to do is let him know that she has had a great time with him. She does not need to do anything more if she doesn't want to.

It is not good being accommodative. I did mention in my earlier entry how trying to be another person is hard work in a relationship. All the adjustments and pretence, just to ensure that you can change, was personally tough for me to deal with. When we are in love, our flaws may be pointed out by our partners. When we do love our partners, as women, we do try to change. We make up our minds and try our best to change. In doing so, we are being receptive to comments given by our partners. This is different from living another life or bending one's moral principles and belief system. For example, Zen does not call often. I can choose to be receptive and accept that he may have forgotten or was just too busy during a high stress period, instead of giving up or worse send negative remarks his way. I do not need to accomodate and bend my beliefs and principles just to get more calls from him ( I don't think it works that way, LOL!).

Men, on the other hand, have to be respectful. In doing so, he is also receptive of her weaknesses and strengths. In supporting their women, their women become self-assured. The women know that they can always count on their partners for support, rather than doubt and wonder if their partners have lost interest in them (because the women did not fit their mental picture). This necessitates open communication and couples should spend time learning about each other's strengths and weakness during the exclusivity stage. Accept them and learn to complement each other with their strengths and help each other overcome their weaknesses. Relationships like these work best just like a magnet is attracted to the opposite pole of another magnet.

I tried to accommodate in my previous relationships; been there, done that. It was hard work. Receptivity, or accepting what your partner can offer, is much easier because you still retain your personality and that should keep your partner's interest in you up. If he truly loves you, he will definitely want to find out more about who you truly are. Not what you could, should and would be.

While I wished Zen would call to assure me that he cares ( I know he does but I just wanted to hear it), I don't think men in general have the habit of calling. I, therefore, chose to be receptive and just accept the fact that he has a job to do and is overseas most of the time. The only thing I can do is make the most of the times we do spend together. Well, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.