Anchors

With the increase in divorce, I sometimes wonder if marriage is really what people want. In Singapore, marriage is a prerequisite for the ownership of a Housing Development Board (HDB) flat. As a result, many young couples get married in their mid 20s. My American friends often find this startling. They, like me ,are still single in their 30s and 40s. Some may fear dying old alone and so they decided that marriage is better than singlehood. Some just wanted to get married to prove that they are wanted. Seems to me that many would have gotten the concept of marriage wrong and the rising divorce rate is of no surprise to me. We go through various stages from owning our own home, getting married to having babies. Do we really need all these or are we just doing what society tells us to do?

What is my concept of marriage? My concept of marriage is the union of two souls who find the meaning of life in each other. I do not think any one is truly happy until they find their purpose and meaning in life. The meaning of my life is LOVE. That's what I live for and stand for; pure and unconditional. For this reason, to ensure that my marriage works, I have to find someone who shares the same notion about the meaning of life. Marriage, to me, is necessary only if I need him to help me understand and live my life the way it should be. If Love were the meaning of our lives, then being together would be a natural consequence.

All I want to be is to be happy. I recall the times I was with Zen, I was always so happy! I do not know the reason why, I know I just do. Maybe the reason why I managed to feel that way is because I managed to anchor the way he makes me feel to his presence. If one can find someone and anchor good feelings unto that individual, we will tend to be happy whenver we are with that person. It is that simple. Married couples should always try to do that; it will keep them together.

However, there is a fear. To do that, it means that you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable. If that person leaves you, you may find a harder time seeking that happiness again, especially when you have gotten used to him. But I am not afraid. I believe by letting go, I will learn to be free and in this freedom, I find peace.

Now you know why I named him , Zen.