80 / 20 rule

I just had the most wonderful dinner with Zen. Once again, I am happy and at peace with myself. He never fails to make me feel special whenever I am with him. It must be one of God's blessings. In this competitive society, I realised that many of us love keeping score. But do we keep score of our blessings?

Have you ever noticed how we get blinded by the obstacles and conveniently forget all about the wonderous things in life? When you have achieved 80% , do you still feel pessimistic and miserable whenever you have problems achieving the other 20%? Doesn't 100% -20% -80%= zero?

I started to wonder. I have a great loving family, a good job, a body with all my limbs and organs intact and wonderful friends who would do anything to see me through the good and bad times, no worries about what to wear or when is my next meal, what more could any one ask for? Yet, my lack of success in the love department makes me desolate at times. I would forget about what I should be happy about and focus on the problems I faced. If I keep doing that, how can I ever be happy? How can I ever feel 100%?

In relationships, I believe the 80/20 rule applies. You will never find that perfect partner. After you have dated and when you decide to get married, you know you have to compromise. No two individuals are 100% complementary or alike. Hence, adjustments are required when you live together. Maybe you like neutral colors on your walls but she likes it RED! So you painted it red. Since every individual is unique, that means couples will have to learn to focus on the 80% and tolerate the problematic 20% which sometimes cannot be mitigated. Otherwise, they will never be happy and are fault finding.

In life, moderation is the key and learn to diversify. By diversification, I mean cutting up your pie into different sectors. Each sector is a separate goal or need. If giving up the other 20% in one sector does not make us a lesser person, why should one be so concerned? If you have 80% in your pocket, you have one deep pocket! To stay happy, one has to learn to control one's perception of success in life. You must realise that you can never achieve 100% in one thing you do or the entire Pie, but 20% in all you do may just add up to 100% in life (besides it is more manageable). I call it marriage value. A good example is work. We know how much emphasis we place on work. But at the last hour, will you really wish you had more time to do more work? However, if you have balanced your love life with work, you can still look up to him or her and smile and know that that is one thing you will miss. You probably won't regret about what you have not achieved but you will smile and say to yourself , " it is accomplished".

So learn to take control of your life; focus on what is good and start dividing your pie (life). Achieve your goals till diseconomies of scale sets in one sector then start moving on to the next sector where there is still excess capacity. If you don't learn to prioritise (that spells the need to diversify) and take control of your life, time will pass you by as time waits for no man.

Tonight, I just added another score, the dinner with Zen, to my blessings list. By focusing on the 80%, I will sleep like a baby. Before I end, I think the song in my background speaks perfectly of the need to control one's life.

Life is for Rent

If my life is for rent, and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cause nothing I have is truly mine.



Learn to focus on the 80% , otherwise you end up with 'zero' if you focus on the negative 20%. That is the 80/20 rule to happiness.






Dedicated to Zen