What a man really wants in his mate?

I showed Zen’s pic to some colleagues. The response was he looks like Dylan McDermott ( the actor in ‘The Practice’). I thought they were very accurate and I do agree with them. When I told Zen about it, he said he wished that were true because then his life would be more interesting (I bet he was delighted to hear that!). I asked him what he thought would be an interesting life. He said Fame and Fortune. Is that what men seek? If fame and fortune were their priorities, what chance do ordinary women have? Men would ride with the tidal wave and find themselves supermodels or movie stars as girlfriends and wives. No wonder the women are suffering from anorexia! They were not in it for Fame and Fortune but for men.

I knew two men who dated famous women. They were always attending parties and often were the centre of attraction wherever they went. These guys had fortune, but what was missing was the element of fame. Therefore, they dated famous women and there you have it Fame and Fortune.

Now what happened to their relationships after they got their wish? They split up. If Fame and Fortune were what these men really needed, why did they not work out? I then decided to analyse their relationships. Johnny dated a local actress. He is a very wealthy individual and met his Glamour Queen (GQ) last year. Since then, I figured that he thought she was high maintenance. I guessed he did not mind the attention from the public, but his ex-girlfriend was not in it for the right reasons. She looks beautiful, tall and is famous. Still these did not make him happy. Now Johnny is dating an ordinary lady of average looks. According to my mum, she is a very practical lady and assists him in his daily affairs. He found that useful, attractive in that sense, and relaxing. They are still together.

Tiim dated someone popular in the music industry. He is a very outgoing guy and loves attending parties with his ex-girlfriend. He then discovered that his ex-girlfriend was emotional and unforgiving. I also realised that she expected Tim to change his behavior. To the women, learn from her, this is one thing you should not do! As for female friends, Tim could only associate himself with her friends, but not his. Tim eventually decided not to participate in this glamorous relationship any more and they broke off. When they ended the relationship, Tim turned to me as I was someone he could talk to. Now he wants to stay away from relationships for the time being and just catch up with his old time friends.

These two individuals have something in common. The woman in their lives are also their friends. Ideally that is what they seek in their mate. The problem is how long will it take before they realise that? Someone they can talk to, share with and assisted them. It is not glamorous but it is comfortable and enjoyable. Zen finally revealed to me that he was looking for a simple, caring, charming and intelligent woman to share his life experiences with. Pretty with long legs and a China doll hairstyle is a definite plus (what’s with the china doll hairstyle anyway? *&!$%). Now that his thoughts are clear, I noticed that Fame and Fortune were not in his vocabulary this time. There you have it. Boys go for Fame but a man eventually goes for that ordinary woman who is their friend in life. That is their Fortune at the end of the rainbow.

To Zen, if you remember this song, “ Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and ME."

Good night!