The Probation Period

Last night I met up with Jonas. Jonas is a quiet and diligent Swede who works as a finance director in an aerospace company. He may not appear interesting to many (partly because of his work) but he is certainly a good buddy to talk to when it comes to male-female relationships. Jonas has dated many women and is always eager to offer me the 'guy's perspective' of the dating game.

We discussed men's probation period over dinner. According to Jonas, he will only be in a relationship when he feels deeply for her. I then asked him how long does a man take to progress from a 'friendly' stage to a 'deeply involved' stage and what are the signs?

Jonas revealed that it generally takes him two months to decide whether it was going to be a relationship or just a fling. A fling is the end result of a friendly encounter which lasted no more than two months. I thought his statement had an uncanny familiarity to my timeline as well. Do men and women have the same probation period? Apparently that is the case. I recall Valerie stating that the 'probation period' could be extended to three months if both parties do not see each other often. Jonas also has the view that when a man wants a relationship with a woman, he would first step up his meetings with her. If he does not, it shows that he is not interested. In this case, the woman should just walk away and not be hopeful. Despite a man's busy schedule (work never ends), the frequency of their meetings must increase. If he has a tight schedule, it is his duty to reprioritise since he is truly interested. Sounds reasonable to me.

I came to the conclusion that if a man were to date a woman for a period of two months and the frequency of their meetings does not increase, it means he is not interested as the interests fades away with time. Now this is a simple test. Therefore, every one out there can actually tell if a man or woman is interested in a relationship if both parties can't get enough of each other and simply have to see each other more often after two months. Jonas added that the frequency must increase because it would be too boring to maintain a relationship and not see each other enough over six months!

As for me, if I am truly interested in someone, I would really love to hear from him daily. Something short and sweet will do. I always believe that the best way to communicate is by meeting up. That is why long distance relationships do not work! Jonas nodded his head when I stated that it would be reasonable for couples to meet each other at least twice a week if both parties are truly in love with each other. That differentiates a couple from platonic friends.

One can probably sense that I am truly interested in him if all I can think about is him and his well-being. I will be smiling whenever we meet and yes, my witty character will take over (instead of my quiet self) because then I am relaxed and happy. That's what a good man can do to me; make me a happier and better person. Believe me, I won't take two months to reveal that interest. But I should tone down my eagerness so that I won't scare him away before my two month probation period is up. LOL