Duets in relationships

Despite my several attempts to announce my early retirement from singing, I have been asked to sing again! Everyone’s looking forward to it. Instead of an unplugged, this time I am doing a duet with a friend of mine, Hanifah.

In a duet, we are partners. It sounds beautiful because we listen to each other and when we do sing concurrently, we harmonise. We know our parts and we stick to it. In relationships, if life is a stage, then should we be singing duets?

Maybe the failure to do so is the reason why many couples end up with irreconciliable differences. Differences exist because no two individuals mirror each other. But do they have to be irreconciliable?

There are many songs which we can sing to but only a few bring out the best in both of us. Hanifah and I have selected our song based on our strengths and weaknesses. I figured that the same applies in relationships. Men can date many women but few women bring out the best in them. If both parties understand each other well (i.e. their strengths and weaknesses) and they know the tune they are going to sing to (i.e. share the same goal and strategy), they can bring our the best in each other as they work together. This shows the importance of exclusivity and commitment in a relationship. I don’t think many men understand the beauty and importance of these stages in dating. They are often satisfied with the physical aspect of it. But it is through these stages that you understand your soulmate and share your visions. Both of you find your duet.

I read the column ‘In Transit’, found in the local newspaper ‘Streats’ . The writer realises that life is not only about champagne and companionship; it is also about compromise and commitment. She probably took a long time to realise it because she thought she had to sacrifice her freedom as a single. In duets, each of us has a distinct score. It would have been boring if it were the same. Similarly, men will get bored with submissive partners. Despite the differences, duets sound beautiful and the key is Harmony. When I harmonise, I actively listen to the other party and creatively respond with my melody. This shows the importance of active listening as our partners share their parts and creative responses in relationships. This also shows that women do not need to conform and they can still maintain their striking individuality. Therefore, contrary to the popular belief, men and women don’t have to lose their freedom.

Hanifah and I have decided to sing ‘All Out of Love’ by Air Supply. When the words “ I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you.” played in my mind, it reminded me of Zen. Just when I was running out of ideas to write, Zen returned from his trip from Japan. If he were not back, instead of writing my journal entitled Love in a Big City, I would probably be writing Lost in a Big City! Now I hope one day I’ll find my duet and the melodies we can sing to.